Death

This past week, our Stake Clerk, Pat Fraley, suffered a brain aneurysm and passed away. Everyone knew that Pat was not in good health. He was a big man that probably had high blood pressure and to some extent, hardening of the arteries. But yet he died of something that could happen to any of us and is not always related to being out of shape and overweight.

For those not familiar with what an aneurysm is, it is when a blood vessel bursts. They can happen anywhere in your body, but can be fatal if they happen in the brain. My Father’s mother died from this, as did a third grade teacher at my elementary school. Aneurysms are a fairly common thing that can end one’s life.

It just goes to show that our time on this planet can end at any time. Pat’s business, after many years of struggle and toil, was beginning to take off. His last child got married a couple of years ago, and he had a happy relationship with his wife. From what I know of him, he was a good man, who did the best he knew how, and helped people as a bishop, and employer.

I have thought about how I might punch my ticket. While working at the glass plant, there were a few times each day where I could have been killed. Each and every day I prayed for safety and was blessed with it. But what is stopping me from having an aneurysm, or be struck by lightening? The answer is nothing.

Oh, it is true that you can eat right, exercise daily, abstain from drugs and alcohol, and still get hit by a semi going down the interstate negating your efforts to live longer in seconds. You could go to a Mongolian grill and, without your knowledge, eat some bad mushrooms and die.

Death is a certainty. We can do our best to put it off, but nevertheless, each and all of us will one day end up toes up. So with that in mind, quit wasting time on things that matter least and spend your time on those things that matter most.

Spooky

Every Thursday night the Sci Fi Network airs “Ghost Hunters”. A show where a team of professional paranormal investigators goes to different places and investigates phenomenon of a supposed paranormal nature.

They meet with people that are not too different from people that we know and also folks that creep me out more then the thought of dead people in my room while I sleep.

I do believe in the paranormal to a degree. As pretty devout Latter-day Saint, I believe in a spirit world and a life after this, along with the host of heaven cast down for their rebellion in the pre-mortal life. But I wonder to what extent the “other” world intrudes upon our own.

Living in Hawaii I heard many superstitions and legends that are held by the locals. Some that came to mind were the Night marchers along with how you should never take pork over the Pali highway at night.

I had an experience in the house that I used to live that I attribute to sleep deprivation and too much pizza, cokes, and television before going to sleep.

So does anyone have any stories to share? Anything tales that make the hairs on the back of you neck to stand up? If so, I would like to hear them.

Eeking By

Getting through college is not that difficult. Basically, if you show up to your classes and put forth a minimal effort, your teachers will give you a passing grade and send you on your way. But is this really what you want?

Believe it or not, in striving to do well in classes you can develop something that many young people lack which is a solid work ethic and the ability to stay with a project until it is finished. These two things are essential in getting and keeping a job.

When an employer looks at a GPA, it answers several questions that they want answered. “How hard will this person work”, and “What is the quality of their work”? If I were looking at two students with degrees in the same field and one had an A and the other a C, I would take the A student.

The A student has demonstrated, in a measurable way, that they have achieved a higher level of mastery then a C student. I know that there are exceptions, but by and large it holds that a person who has taken the time to do well in the course work, will take the time to do well on the job.

But in most fields, it does not matter what your grades were. All that matters is if you can pass licensing and certification exams that are used by your specific field. These can be quite rigourous, and merely passing demonstrates that you have the know how to work in the given field. This, combined with a good grade point average will provide opportunities that you would not have otherwise. I know of people who did great in college but could not get hired because they could pass the licensing examinations.

But here is another fact that we rarely consider. You don’t need a degree to be successful. I know of many individuals who have made, and will make far more money in their lives then my father who holds a bachelors degree in business, and a masters degree in nuclear engineering.

In the end, you will be better off if you work hard at something and do a good job then if you just eek by.

Be an achiever, not an eeker.

Grade Grubbers...

Right now many students around the globe are logging on to check their grade for the first short term of the summer (called Spring at BYU-H). I am immune to bad grades this time thankfully. Even if I wasn't, I don't think I'd care as much as I used to anyway.

About a year ago I still had my bright and shiny 4.0. Ever since I slipped off of that slope my concern has ebbed away. I still have a respectable 3.89, but my GPA is not a high priority any more. It made me think about motivation.

What is our motivation for good grades? Many people say that it is because we want to get good jobs. I don't think that's enough. When I lost my 4.0 a friend asked me,

"What do you call a doctor who got C's in college? Doctor."

It makes sense. In job interviews they ask about your degrees and experience, not your grade point average.

Other people say they don't want to let their family down. Many people at BYU-H are international students on scholarships and families at home pay a good part of the education. But again, passing with a B- is not going to get you through school faster or cheaper than an A.

That is, unless you need your GPA to get you scholarships. That is one valid motivation. High GPAs get more scholarships. But I have been passed by for scholarships many times due to my ethnicity and because I did not show enough of an financial need. So, really, it's not the best or most sustaining motivation.

The more I think about it, the more I am convinced of my new theory. Most people, including myself, are really motivated by one thing, pride. If you keep analyzing people's reasons for wanting good grades eventually you will scrape enough off the surface off to see pride as the core issue. I guess it was for me.

Once I lost my 4.0, I could not boast about it any more. Since I had been compelled to be humble about my grades I just gave up. Sad, but I think admitting this helps.

Am I missing some motivations? Am I wrong? Do you claim to be driven by something more noble? What keeps you grade grubbing?

Oaks and Wolf

I listened to a fascinating interview with the great modern American novelist Tom Wolf. For those not familiar with his writings, Wolf has written on a wide variety of topics in his novels that are related to the times in which we live. For example his novel “Bonfire of the vanities” has been hailed by critics as the novel about the 1980’s, along with his novel “A man in full” Wolf has established himself as someone who accurately observes and reports, through fiction, about what is going on in society, like Dickens or Dostoyevski.

In his latest novel “I am Charlotte Simmons” Wolf focuses in on what life is like for the eighteen to twenty-something college student in the United States. He went to many Universities talked with hundreds if not thousands of students and simply spent time with them looking at how they lived, studied, and spent their spare time.

One thing that is interesting is that Wolf, not a member of the Church (In fact most active members would find what he writes offensive), lamented that students don’t date anymore. They hang out and hook up. He believes that this along with rampant promiscuity and a “life is one big party” mentality will have a negative effect in the years to come as the baby boomers die out, and the Flower Children of the sixties enter retirement.

It is interesting that Tom Wolf, not a member of the Church, would point to the death of dating culture as a sign that something is amiss in society. He also was shocked to discover how little is required of college students as opposed to students in prior decades who worked themselves silly trying to meet demands that today’s modern college student would consider impossible and not even attempt to meet.

Dating takes allot of effort, but the benefits are much more desirable then hanging out. Last night I went on one and had a great time. It met Elders Oaks’ criteria of planned, paid for, and paired off and was wonderful. Not that the girl I went with was the one, but that we just had a great time that beat simply just hanging around, watching movies, and hoping that romance will bloom.

There was nothing superficial or extravagant in our date, it was simple and cheap and allot of fun. We went for some great Thai food, and just talked.

Perhaps there is something to dating that is superior. I find it interesting that two people, one who is very much in and a part of the world, and another who is very much out of it, would come to the same conclusion, that dating needs to be resurrected.

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